I let it consume me

I am consumed. I let reason consume me. I'm liking it. Reason dictates what should I feel towards a certain object. Is it awkward? no? is it normal? No, But it's me. A few have gone to choose this path I have realized there's no darkness or light in the path you take, what's there is a path, it's just the path leading to where you want to be. For some, there are what they call "standards" for what's good and what's bad, that's why they have the law but by looking into it you'll realize it just complicates everything and after all is said and done you'll ask does the end really justify all the means? However, I say good is how you define it. If you think it's good then it is, it's not being unreasonable it's being somewhat selfish and that's reasonable. You don't have to lean on the majority just to have someone being on your side to fight for your principle. You can stand alone and fight for your principles. You can live with it, it doesn't matter if they think it's right or wrong, It is what it is, It is how you view it. The beauty in it is because YOU made it. It is the self, your choice, your will. Reason is all we have, Reason what differentiate us. I can do what I want. I have my reasons. You may think I'm not reasonable but the truth is I based all my decisions on my reasons. I am consumed I want to be like this, I want to give reason to everything. I'm somewhat addicted on how the people reason. I want to understand people, their reasons. I'll let my reasons define me. I chose this path. The path of reason.

I'm too afraid to ask

I wanted to ask you, but I'm afraid to know what will be your answer. It always bothers me.

I also think that maybe I just don't want to ask you this because I don't want to accept a result that i didn't want.

For everything I did wrong, I'm sorry. I know I made you cry, I've been a liar. I said that I won't make you cry but what I did was to make you do it over and over again. I can't follow that good example, you know its a pain to me to know that I am the one who's capable and who's that good at making you cry. How contradicting because I personally always wanted to avoid it but it somehow end that way, there's something wrong with me. The problem is I don't know what's wrong, I'm like guessing a very hard riddle given the clues but still can't deliver. It's like I can't get the right formula. Despite that, I wanted you to know that I won't stop till I find that, I won't stop till all I can get you are all smiles. I always wanted the best for us. I want to go there without hurting you in the process.

Now let me tell you this, with all the crying all the wrong things I've done, I come in to think that you hated me.

But I wanted it to come from you,

Do you hate me?